How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
