That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
