Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
