Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I love how my cats smell like pot.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
