the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
not ubering you a puppy
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
