If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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