No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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