I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
