remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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