He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
