Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
