i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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