She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
