we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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