i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
