ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
