Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
