can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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