Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
