Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
