Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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