i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
