Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
