my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
