you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I can't turn off my feet"
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
