My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
