why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
