I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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