I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize