Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
