Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
