I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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