Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
