omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
