Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
