alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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