South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
