found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize