you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
