In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I will die if light touches me.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
