so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
only you would photoshop your dick
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
