im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize