you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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