6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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