if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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