I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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