She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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