Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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