you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
