he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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