It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
