Are we in a gay sports bar?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
All I want is dick and wine.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
