What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize