normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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