3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize