How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She's the barista slut.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
