Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
