ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
