we're blogging at a bar
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
