so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
