we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize